twt of the day

@alyankovic

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 14:30:00 -0400

At the Funny Or Die offices right now. Apparently they make humorous snuff films here.

@Alejandrobot

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 22:04:00 -0400

All right, ladies, I’m done. I’ve had it. From now on I’m gay.

@jt

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:02:00 -0400

Did Berry Gordy just say “exspecially” ?

@thesoup

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:12:00 -0400

Should Kendra wear undies for a night in Sin City? If so, why?

@PeterSHall

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 00:11:00 -0400

“For the first time, a Palin actually decides to pull out early.” Perfect shouldabeen headline.

@someecards

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:39:00 -0400

Pelee Island ice wine sounds like frozen piss pops. So you understand, Americans drink their pee at room temperature.

@jonathanfields

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:43:00 -0400

Just brushed with Arm & Hammer White Advance. OMG, would rather gargle Preparation H! Um…yuck!

@leeodden

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 16:38:33 -0400

@davefleet it’s the flight attendants that said to sit wherever there ate open seats

@_andrew_g

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:10:00 -0400

Pelham 123 also should have been called “Lots of nauseating L-R dolly shots of Denzel where you can see the Kinos in his glasses”

@BunnyBridget

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 01:53:00 -0400

Just finished Kendra’s rehearsal dinner at Dave n’ Busters listening to MJ all the way home

@nakedjoker

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 12:08:00 -0400

Is it only in Britain that banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters???

@sarahschneider

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 10:23:00 -0400

Is it just me, or is everybody in New York pregnant?

@JackKempers

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 11:48:00 -0400

How can Jon & Kate be a trending topic - I’m nauseas from hearing about them.

@robhuebel

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 22:38:00 -0400

Wiped out hard on mtn bike. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have bled. But my skin had other ideas. Pussy skin.

@james_gunn

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 16:40:00 -0400

Getting complaints that I’m tweeting more about Iran than pooping, masturbation, & porn. Can’t I love those things & care about the world?!

@rustyrockets

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 22:51:00 -0400

Went to Disneyland today. Space Mountain did not recreate the experience of mountaineering or space travel. And Pinocchio pinched my arse.

@richardquest

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:37:05 -0400

I will make sure you fit into the overhead compartment…..

@jodywatley

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 16:32:15 -0400

it’s always a fine line of being honest and staying positive because honesty sometimes requires negative information - i try to balance it.

@caseorganic

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 09:44:31 -0400

Air sex -like air guitar - but with sex -air sex world finals (video: http://bit.ly/VCebG) in Portland ( http://bit.ly/6lZXa official site)

@nostrich

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 09:53:18 -0400

Since when was a fictional time lord qualified to declare a pandemic?