May 2009
31 posts
@krystyl
Love the guy from @boingo If he lived in SF, id invite him to yoga #twtrcon
@tomaswk
Was hit by dirty baby diapers. Are there hypercolor diapers? When there’s pee/poo on the inside u get warned on the outside?
@dexin
#spymaster is very annoying.
@CarolinaTennant
I need an anti-bitch pill today…want to punch this blonde two parking space taking bia in the teeth. http://tinyurl.com/ofbbqy
@ConchRaider
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
@SheriTingle
Looking like a wild child today ~ time to get myself under control! : )
@rustyrockets
And Now I will tweet on all trending topics - 1. 3 drunk words “Not my anus.”
@khopper
Someone needs to invent fertilizer soap so that I can park my car on the lawn and wash it there.
@newhat
Mother Soon To Be Thrilled As Birthday Picnic Basket Gets Debut. Silly Man Tired From Disco Excursion. Also, Freddie Star Eat My Hamster
@allaboutgeorge
Gas, break, dip, dip (at Bay Bridge)
@PRjobs
Dear baby inside: I don’t know if these karate chops mean you love me or hate me? I do know you are already as feisty as your mother.
@gwenbell
Watching two 10-year-olds add spoonfuls of sugar to their mochas. And it’s FREAKING ME OUT.
@kbairdmurray
ok, so what’s with the rain today? And every day? my home feels like an ark…
@bs
“Yeah, I like it on top too … I make it easy for everyone.” — @zhanna
@Adam_Zilberbaum
Nothing like a hard swim to make you feel more relaxed! ;-)
@Grundy
Note to self: Self, you can expediate stadium security next time you attend an Atlanta Braves game by not bringing an actual tomahawk.
@FullCreamMilk
@FullCreamMilk Cheese of course! Something hard and mature #notaeuphemism
@dromedome
The only redeeming part of working from home while we move offices: Pants optional
@al3x
Numbers talk. People talk too, but numbers tend to lie less.
@pud
I just launched the most useful Twitter app in the history of mankind but I don’t want to tell anyone about it because it’s too awesome.
@someecards
I hope Christian Bale attacks killer robots with the same ferocity as he does lighting technicians. http://bit.ly/FTwxa
@rands
My mother taught me how to chill, why you should read, and that art is everywhere. #mothersday
@tront
Somebody farted
@Ihnatko
In which building does Bravo tape “Fashion Show”? I want to reduce the odds of ever getting stuck in an elevator with any of those people.
@Grundy
To kill a circus act, go for the juggler.
@gpanger
Two servings of bread pudding was the wrong idea for my stomach right now.
@johnalanis
Attraction fact: very few men want to sleep with lots of women. Most want to meet that 1 special woman—w/a few adventures along the way.
@EmailCopywriter
A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on. ~JFK #quote
@JustinMGaston
I wish life really was like a box of chocolates.
@kevinrose
Ever respond to a text message on Twitter by accident? Good times.
@dannysullivan
Twitter Hog Or Die