April 2009
30 posts
@jcroft
Totally hanging out with Chandler Bing right now.
@shelisrael
Some days I whiz thru Tville revisions as if I were on jet skis. Today it’s more like waddling thru peanut butter while towing an anchor.
@Rafe
Removing useful tools from my briefcase so I may travel tomorrow without getting accosted by TSA.
@feliciaday
At the airport for home! Had great time in England, but danced too vigorously to MC Hammer on a stomach full o’ Indian food last night. Ugh.
@elatable
RT @jlanzone 1,000+ people get shot in the US every day. 10 get swine flu. The former we blindly accept, the latter we spaz out about.
@davemorin
You know it’s a recession when you get an economics lesson from the gelato guy.
@Glinner
@Skillsmc I think alien lanes is a good place to start
@adamisacson
Day 5 of my Colombia trip, and I’m out of clean underwear. But there’s no way I’m “going commando.” I oppose U.S. military intervention.
@monstro
Just watched “Objectified.” Jesus Christ famous designers are self-important and annoying. Except for Hella Jongerius.
@NatalieGrant
I also love any excuse to wear a pretty dress :-)
@sockington
WELCOME ALL NEW TWITTER CELEBRITIES small reminder to you of socks toll TWO PIECES OF TUNA AS YOU PASS BY one piece when I pass you later
@katyperry
Just finished waterpark @ DISNEY. Yes i thought bout the childs pee but the effect the chlorine had on my eyes should b proof of sanitation.
@ICHCheezburger
#LOLcat Run!! http://tinyurl.com/cmyudv
@mmitchelldaviss
day of silence!? I thought it was eat-a-ton of breakfast day. now I feel sick and can’t talk about it… shit.
@flowerdust
Thx to everyone who came to the staff meeting or the Porn Talk yesterday @ Community Christian. Both were a blast. And I got to say “boobs!”
@shanedawson
im freezing. my nipples are like bullets
@johncmayer
Just got back from dinner with friends I’m the most comfortable with. The dinner was mostly silent. Best conversation I’ve had all week.
@rocsidiaz
I’m the only fool with flip flops on in nyc!!! Bare with me fashion police I just got my toes did!!!! I’m freezing
@chrispirillo
Either the Easter Bunny is REALLY MEAN, or Wicket decided to leave a “stinky treat” on the carpet. Didn’t hide it well, either.
@unmarketing
Best Twitter username of the day: @TwittsMcGee
@JasonKennedy1
My neighbor Beverly is 93 years old, she knocks on my door in her night gown at random hours of the day, as I type this she’s a knockin.Crap
@perezhilton
is noticing all the times Spencer & Heidi appear on “The Hills” with red, bloodshot eyes!
@freddurst
It’s Freddy D. I’m gonna attack this. No slack. Flip you like a mattress. Yall’s tactics need practice. Who’s actor? Who’s actress? -mornin’
@diablocody
Is it strange that I’ve never seen the Fail Whale?
@davemorin
Always eat dessert. #livelifewell
@TheBloggess
I hardly ever stab people.
@Hicksdesign
Of all life’s priorities, surely buttering the toast the millisecond it comes out the toaster is the top one. Then it’s everything else..
@sacca
Reviewing the execution mechanics of 1) the Indian Sunburn 2) the Wet Willy 3) the Purple Hermie 4) Assorted Noogies. — Discuss.
@Aubs
And now I get to have to have a very uncomfortable call w/my parents explaining that a) @kevinrose is an ass & b) no grandchild in the way.
@adam
When I think GM I see my parents’ 1985 Buick Century - that soggy meatball turned me against GM for life.